The grand narrative is that
the motherhood is entirely glorious
and the most natural thing in the world.
But, they don't prepare you
those early days of motherhood
when you get that recurring
thought gnawing your guilty heart
that you are merely the udders
that produce life nourishing milk for
this little monster whose presence
has acquired epic proportions
in a crazily ecstatic household.
While, you are lectured upon
what to eat and drink
so as to not harm the little one.
When to bathe and how to sleep
by the omniscient ladies,
as you sit smelling of milk, urine and poop
repentant for not being a
good enough self effacing mother.
-Neha Bansal
Having suffered postpartum in its full grandeur, this hit me hard . What poignant way of expressing an emotion that is hardly spoken of and easily ignored by all including mothers themselves!
ReplyDeleteI m sure many of us can relate to it....however it takes courage to accept that one can feel like that.... Esp in our child-centric culture
DeleteThis is so apt... It is really a tough time. Eating chapati with carom seeds, drinking boiled carom seed water...
ReplyDeleteYou don't even know how to do things. Though everyone gives their expert comments, It was difficult to deal with all those instructions.
Beautifully written.��
Chhavi
Thx 😊
DeleteThis one. I love your writing so much!!!
ReplyDeleteHave not become a mother yet but as a woman I sometimes get these thoughts as to why not adopt instead ( the physical pain seems unbearable despite the fact of women all over the planet having survived it.
And what would become of the body if it were to be a cesarean delivery... ) all these thoughts make me aversive to the idea of conceiving and I thus could connect to your piece on multiple levels. You are simply marvellous. It’s a great little poem :) finely written 😊
I believe that you start loving your child by and by...though one does feel responsible for the little one from the get go. But the old ladies judge you for even that... Even suggesting that you don't love your child enough... Been there...
ReplyDelete